Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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