i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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