When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
