Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
