What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
