A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
