i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
