You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
