wakey wakey hands off snakey
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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