I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
