I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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