Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
