Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
