my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
