i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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