No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
