I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
