don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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