i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
