think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
