dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
