Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
