doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
