I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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