So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
