I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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