I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
