I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
