I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
