the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
