my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That accounts for only three of the penises
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
