I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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