how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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