dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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