That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
