She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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