Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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