Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
