Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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