I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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