Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
