In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
