just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
