You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
