This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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