Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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