you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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