So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
