Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
