He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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