and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
