i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
