I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
love makes seman taste better
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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