I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
MIDGETS
????
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
